In her memoir "Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body," Roxane Gay expresses a deep desire to understand the underlying reasons for her experiences with body image and weight. She portrays an intense curiosity about her own struggles, conveying a need to explore the truth of her situation, even if it means confronting difficult emotions and truths. This yearning to grasp and examine the 'why' reflects her struggle with vulnerability and the fear of uncovering painful realities about herself.

Gay's metaphor of wanting to hold the 'why' in her hands signifies a profound journey of self-exploration and acceptance. The act of dissecting or destroying that truth illustrates her grappling with pain, honesty, and the complex relationship she has with her body. Ultimately, her reflection reveals a compelling tension between fear and the necessity of understanding one's self, inviting readers to contemplate their own journeys of self-discovery and acceptance.