I was twenty-one at the time, about to turn twenty-two. No prospect of graduating soon, and yet no reason to quit school. Caught in the most curiously depressing circumstances. For months I'd been stuck, unable to take one step in any new direction. The world kept moving on; I alone was at a standstill. In the autumn, everything took on a desolate cast, the colors swiftly fading before my eyes. The sunlight, the smell of the grass, the faintest patter of rain, everything got on my nerves.
The narrator reflects on a time in their life when they were twenty-one, feeling trapped and directionless as they approached their twenty-second birthday. Despite being in school, they saw no path to graduation and felt disconnected from progress around them. This sense of stagnation led to feelings of despair as the world continued to evolve while they felt immobilized.
As autumn arrived, the narrator perceived a bleakness in their surroundings, with nature's vibrant colors fading away. Sensory experiences that once brought joy, like sunshine and rain, now created irritation. This profound sense of dissatisfaction deepened their feeling of isolation and highlighted their inner turmoil, encapsulating the struggle of someone caught in a phase of life where hope seems distant.
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