In her essay, Roxane Gay reflects on an incident where she observes casual racism being expressed in a social setting among a mixed group of people. This moment prompts her to question not only the motivations behind such comments but also the broader implications of such behavior in society. Gay's contemplation leads her to ponder the dichotomy of personal relationships and societal attitudes towards race.

Furthermore, Gay expresses a deep curiosity about how people perceive her, especially in light of their preconceptions about race and identity. This self-reflection highlights the complexities of navigating social interactions as a person of color, emphasizing the challenges of understanding others' hidden biases while grappling with one's own identity in a diverse context.