In the deepening spring of May, I had no choice but to recognize the trembling of my heart. It usually happened as the sun was going down. In the pale evening gloom, when the soft fragrance of magnolias hung in the air, my heart would swell without warning, and tremble, and lurch with a stab of pain. I would try clamping my eyes shut and gritting my teeth, and wait for it to pass. And it would pass –but slowly, taking its own time, and leaving a dull ache behind.
In May, as spring deepens, the protagonist experiences a profound emotional awakening that coincides with the setting sun. Each evening, as the fragrant scent of magnolias fills the air, he finds his heart responding with a mix of swelling emotion and pain. This unsettling sensation takes him by surprise, compelling him to engage in physical efforts to suppress it, yet he knows it is part of his emotional journey.
The intensity of these moments lingers long after the feeling fades, leaving him with an enduring ache. The passage captures the complexities of emotional turmoil and the struggle to cope with intense feelings, highlighting how beauty and pain can intertwine in the depths of our hearts.