In her book "Bad Feminist: Essays," Roxane Gay discusses the pervasive nature of misogyny that women, especially feminists, encounter daily. She expresses the struggle of recognizing these discriminatory attitudes in varied forms, whether subtle or overt, affirming that women are not overreacting or imagining these experiences. This acknowledgment is crucial for validating the feelings of those who are subjected to such treatment.

Gay also highlights the pressure on women to dismiss their experiences as humorless or overly serious. Being told to "lighten up" only adds to the burden, suggesting that their feelings are unwarranted. Instead, she emphasizes that constant societal scrutiny can make it difficult for women to embrace a lighter mindset without losing their sense of self or agency.