It was if we all sensed we'd be gone someday soon in a sudden instant--often it happened in the middle of the night--and didn't want to get involved. Or else it was that none of us wanted to know anybody later on who was the way we were now.
The passage conveys a feeling of existential awareness among the characters, as they seem to intuitively sense the transience of life. This awareness often leads to a reluctance to form deep connections, particularly driven by the fear of sudden loss or change. The mention of such occurrences happening "in the middle of the night" emphasizes a sense of unpredictability and inevitability that adds to their apprehension.
Moreover, there is an underlying notion that the characters may prefer to avoid future relationships with those who reflect their current selves. This suggests that they are uncomfortable with their present identities and perhaps wish to move beyond them. The tension between the desire for connection and the fear of vulnerability creates a complex emotional landscape, highlighting their struggle with acceptance and change.
