In David Sedaris' book "Calypso," the author reflects on the role of friends, or mates, in relation to family. He describes how these mates appear as secondary figures, primarily recognized in the context of their relationships with others. They may be present and visible, but their influence is limited since they cannot reach deep into the emotional core that binds family members together. Sedaris underscores the idea that mates lack the ability to tap into profound childhood memories and feelings. They don't have the power to evoke strong, often chaotic emotions tied to formative experiences, which makes them seem less significant to the family dynamic. As a result, they are perceived as less integral or impactful in navigating emotional complexities, functioning instead as mere observers rather than active participants in personal histories.