In the narrative, the character grapples with her feelings towards Benny and his affection for the woman he loves. She expresses a desire for her suspicions to be unfounded, as the thought of being mistaken would lead to a sense of despair. This internal conflict reveals her longing to avoid negativity in her life.
She humorously notes that poets might be the exception to her disdain for depression, implying that while most people strive for positivity, those who create art might revel in darker emotions. This contrast highlights her struggle to reconcile her thoughts with a more optimistic outlook.