In this reflection, the narrator admits to struggling with expressing genuine feelings of love, highlighting the difficulty of putting emotions into words. They describe the intense, overwhelming experience of being with someone they love, where feelings of drowning and salvation coexist, illustrating the depth of their emotional turmoil and passion.

No wonder i hadn't written anything decent in ages- I couldn't even figure out how to tell a boy that i loved him. That whenever i looked into his eyes, i felt like i was drowning and being saved, all at the same time. That if i had to choose between dying tomorrow or spending the rest of my life without him, i would seriously consider picking imminent death - This quote underscores the narrator's inner conflict and the powerful impact love has on their life, emphasizing how love can be both exhilarating and terrifying.