Now: I am an affectionate man but I have much trouble showing it.When I was younger I used to worry so much about being alone - of being unlovable or incapable of love. As the years went on, my worries changed. I worried that I had become incapable of having a relationship, of offering intimacy. I felt as though the world lived inside a warm house at night and I was outside, and I couldn't be seen - because I was out there in the night. But now I am inside that house and it feels just the same
Douglas Coupland reflects on his journey with affection and intimacy, expressing that although he identifies as an affectionate person, he struggles to demonstrate it. In his youth, he feared loneliness and felt unlovable, worrying about his capacity to form connections with others. Over time, his concerns shifted to doubts about his ability to sustain relationships and provide intimacy.
Coupland uses a powerful metaphor to convey his feelings of isolation. He compares himself to someone outside a warm house, observing others within while feeling unseen and detached. Despite now being "inside that house," he conveys a sense of persistent emotional distance, suggesting that the challenge of feeling connected remains a constant in his life.
