She breathed in slowly; this was what she had, the beauty of this awful night. She listened for small yips in the distance, something to put in her heart besides the lost phoebes and the dread of another full moon rising with no more small celebrations from her body ever again. She kept herself still and tried to think of coyote children emerging from the forest's womb with their eyes wide open while the finite possibilities of her own children closed their eyes, finally, on this world.
In this passage, the protagonist takes a moment to appreciate the beauty of a dark night, grappling with her feelings of loss and longing. Her heart is heavy with the memories of lost joys, symbolized by the phoebes, as she faces the reality of her own unfinished desires, particularly regarding motherhood. The full moon serves as a haunting reminder of what will never be, casting a shadow over her reflections.
As she remains still, she conjures images of coyote pups emerging into the world, representing innocence and new beginnings. In contrast, the closing of her own possibilities reflects the bittersweet nature of life and the inevitability of change. This juxtaposition emphasizes her struggle between accepting the beauty around her and mourning her personal losses, highlighting the themes of nature, motherhood, and the cycle of life in Kingsolver's work.
