She'd never shaken off the feeling of being damaged by her ignorance of Love, of what it might be like to be wholly possessed by the archetypal, capitalized djinn, the yearning towards, the blurring of the boundaries of the self, the unbuttoning, until you were open from your adam's-apple to your crotch: just words, because she didn't know the thing.
The protagonist struggles with a profound sense of inadequacy and a perceived lack of understanding about love. This feeling of being "damaged" stems from her ignorance regarding the depths and complexities of love, which she likens to being influenced by a powerful, mythical force. She yearns for a connection that transcends her current experiences, highlighting her desire for a more profound emotional existence.
Her struggle illustrates a broader theme of yearning for authenticity and intimacy. The imagery of boundaries being blurred and the self being fully exposed underscores her longing for a transformative experience. Yet, this yearning is complicated by her inability to fully grasp the essence of love, leaving her with a sense of emptiness and longing for something she cannot quite define.
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All the things you can talk about in anyone's work are the things that are least important.
Race of Cain, ascend to heaven, And cast God down upon the earth!
