Sometimes I could put myself to sleep saying that over and over until after the honeysuckle got all mixed up in it the whole thing came to symbolize night and unrest I seemed to be lying neither asleep nor awake looking down a long corridor of grey halflight where all stable things had become shadowy paradoxical all I had done shadows all I had felt suffered taking visible form antic and perverse mocking without relevance inherent themselves with the denial of the significance they should have affirmed thinking I was I was not who was not was not who.

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The quote describes a profound state of confusion and unrest experienced by the narrator. They find themselves in a liminal space, caught between sleep and wakefulness, where the familiar becomes distorted and unstable. The repetition of certain thoughts leads to a sense of entrapment, evoking a dreamlike quality that makes reality seem shadowy and nonsensical.

This feeling encompasses all of their past experiences, merging memories into an incoherent mix that feels mocking and irrelevant. The narrator grapples with issues of identity and existence, questioning who they truly are amidst the chaos of their emotions and reflections. Faulkner captures this turmoil through rich imagery and complex ideas about perception and self-awareness.

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March 07, 2025

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