Steve is troubled by a lot of things. He is twenty-three, was raised in Virginia, and has the idea that California is the beginning of the end. I feel it's insane, he says, and his voice drops. This chick tells me there's no meaning to life but it doesn't matter, we'll just flow right out. There've been times I felt like packing up and taking off for the East Coast again, at least there I had a target. At least there you expect that it's going to happen. He lights a cigarette for me and his hands shake. Here you know it's not going to.
Steve, a 23-year-old from Virginia, is deeply unsettled by his experiences in California, which he perceives as a harbinger of doom. He expresses his frustration over the nihilistic views of others, feeling devoid of purpose as he contemplates his life. This sense of meaninglessness weighs heavily on him, prompting thoughts of returning to the East Coast where he felt a clearer direction and purpose.
His unease manifests physically as he lights a cigarette, with shaking hands reflecting his inner turmoil. The contrast between his past expectations in Virginia and the uncertainty of his current life in California highlights his struggle. Steve longs for the familiarity of home and a clearer path, feeling trapped in a place that offers him little faith in a future he can believe in.