That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I need to help you because fair is fair? Try, 'I need you to help me so I won't rip out your spine and beat you with it.' I might respond to that. Maybe.
In this excerpt from James Patterson's "School's Out—Forever," a character is expressing frustration at an idea they consider foolish. They feel compelled to help someone but frame it in a way that highlights their annoyance, suggesting that their willingness to assist is conditional upon the other person's approach.
The character chooses a provocative and humorous alternative response, implying that if the person asks for help in a more aggressive or disrespectful...
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All the things you can talk about in anyone's work are the things that are least important.
Race of Cain, ascend to heaven, And cast God down upon the earth!
