That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I need to help you because fair is fair? Try, 'I need you to help me so I won't rip out your spine and beat you with it.' I might respond to that. Maybe.
In this excerpt from James Patterson's "School's Out—Forever," a character is expressing frustration at an idea they consider foolish. They feel compelled to help someone but frame it in a way that highlights their annoyance, suggesting that their willingness to assist is conditional upon the other person's approach.
The character chooses a provocative and humorous alternative response, implying that if the person asks for help in a more aggressive or disrespectful way, they might actually consider retaliating instead. This exchange reflects the tension and dark humor present in the story's tone.
