In “Holidays on Ice,” David Sedaris humorously critiques the festive season, suggesting it brings with it an influx of poor-quality entertainment. He touches on the negative aspects of the holiday period, focusing on the proliferation of disappointing movies, television shows, and theatrical productions that many endure during Christmas. Sedaris implies that the experience of bad theater can be so intense that it recalls ancient forms of torture.

His vivid description elevates the dissatisfaction with holiday entertainment to an almost comical level, suggesting that the mediocrity experienced during this season has been around for ages. By invoking images of oppressive ancient practices, Sedaris emphasizes that the quality of holiday entertainment can leave one feeling more tormented than festive, critiquing the cultural outputs associated with Christmas.