This quote by A.P. Herbert offers a provocative perspective on the nature of long-term relationships. It challenges the common idealization of a completely harmonious partnership devoid of conflict over many years. According to Herbert, the absence of any arguments or disagreements within a thirty-year relationship might not be a sign of perfect harmony or understanding, but rather an indication of a lack of spirit or individuality in the partners involved.

The idea that living together without any cross words for such a long time is something to be "admired only in sheep" is striking and metaphorical. It implies passivity, submission, or a suppression of one’s true feelings—traits that may be unappealing in human relationships—suggesting that healthy relationships probably benefit from a certain level of spirited engagement and constructive conflict.

From a psychological and emotional standpoint, this quote invites us to reconsider the nature of harmony. Rather than interpreting conflict as inherently negative, Herbert’s words nudge us to understand it as a natural, even healthy aspect of connection where individuals express themselves authentically. The presence of debates, disagreements, or the occasional "cross word" points to dynamic communication, mutual respect for differing opinions, and emotional resilience.

In essence, it reminds us that relationships are not about suppression but about engagement—where the spirit thrives and both individuals grow. Rather than avoiding conflict at all costs, true partnership involves navigating disagreements with respect, honesty, and an earnest desire to understand each other. It’s in this spirited exchange that relationships deepen and evolve.