The number of secrets I receive is in inverse proportion to the number of secrets anyone expects me to have of my own. And this is the real source of my dismay. Being told secrets is not - never has been - a sign that I belong or that I matter. It is quite the opposite: confirmation of my irrelevance.
The author expresses that the amount of secrets she receives is inversely related to how many secrets people think she should have herself. This imbalance makes her feel disconnected and unimportant, rather than trusted or valued. She emphasizes that being entrusted with secrets does not symbolize belonging or significance, but rather highlights her insignificance.
According to Zoë Heller, this dynamic of receiving secrets actually confirms her feelings of irrelevance. It reveals that instead of feeling included or significant, she perceives these secrets as a reminder of her marginality and lack of importance in others' eyes.
