Roxane Gay's book, "Bad Feminist: Essays," challenges the common interpretation that feminism promotes the idea that women can achieve everything they desire in life. She contends that this belief is a misconception, often misattributed to feminist ideology. Instead, she emphasizes that it is a fundamental human aspiration to seek fulfillment in multiple areas of life, similar to the metaphor of wanting to have cake and eat it too. This desire, however, is not always examined critically in terms of possibility and access.

Gay suggests that discussions around "having it all" should broaden to include how to make this ideal attainable for a diverse range of individuals, rather than just for those already privileged. She highlights the need for deeper conversations about the barriers many face in their pursuit of balance and success, pointing out that it's essential to focus on equity in opportunities. This perspective encourages a more inclusive feminist narrative that recognizes the varied realities of women's experiences rather than limiting the discourse to an unrealistic standard.