Author: Roddy Doyle
Quotes of Author: Roddy Doyle
There's a joke I heard years ago, about an Irishman who ends up on a desert island with Claudia Schiffer, after a plane crash. There's just the two of them, sitting on the sand. After a few days of this, she moves closer to him. 'Do you wish to ride me, Dermot?' she says. 'Jesus, Claudia,' he says. 'Like – are you sure?' 'Yes,' she says. 'We will be here for quite some time, I think. And the days are quite long – yes?' So, they start riding. All day. And Claudia falls hopelessly in love with him. This goes on for months until one day, the Irishman stands up and moves down the beach a bit and sits by himself. Claudia gets up and follows him. 'Dermot?' she says. 'Is something the matter?' 'Ah, sure,' he says. 'I'm just a bit down in the dumps.' 'Is there something I can do to help?' she asks him. 'Well,' he says. 'This might sound mad. But would you mind if I called you Des?' She looks at him, then says, 'Alright. I will permit this.' 'Great,' he says. 'Brilliant, thanks.' He's holding a piece of charcoal that he found on the beach. He shows it to Claudia and he says, 'And, like – would you mind if I drew a moustache on you?' And she looks at him again, and says, 'Alright, Dermot. This, too, I will permit.' 'Ah, great – thanks.' He draws a rough moustache on her, then stands back. Then he grabs her shoulders, shakes her, and says, 'Des! Des! You won't believe who I've been riding for the last three months! book-quote
