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The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
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The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
Quotes of Book: The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
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Nathaniel Branden
_
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
But if I lack respect for and enjoyment of who I am, I have very little to give-except my unfilled needs. In my emotional impoverishment, I tend to see other people essentially as sources of approval or disapproval. I do not appreciate them for who they are in their own right. I see only what they can or cannot do for me. I am not looking for people whom I can admire and with whom I can share the excitement and adventure of life. I am looking for people who will not condemn me-and perhaps will be impressed by my persona, the face I present to the world. My ability to love remains undeveloped. This is one of the reasons why attempts at relationships so often fail-not because the vision of passionate or romantic love is intrinsically irrational, but because the self-esteem needed to support it is absent.
book-quote
Nathaniel Branden
_
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
To live consciously means to seek to be aware of everything that bears on our actions, purposes, values, and goals-to the best of our ability, whatever that ability may be-and to behave in accordance with that which we see and know.
book-quote
Nathaniel Branden
_
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
The willingness to experience and accept our feelings carries no implication that emotions are to have the last word on what we do. I may not be in the mood to work today; I can acknowledge my feelings, experience them, accept them-and then go to work. I will work with a clearer mind because I have not begun the day with self-deception.
book-quote
Nathaniel Branden
_
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
When we have unconflicted self-esteem, joy is our motor, not fear. It is happiness that we wish to experience, not suffering that we wish to avoid. Our purpose is self-expression, not self-avoidance or self-justification. Our motive is not to "prove" our worth but to live our possibilities.
book-quote
Nathaniel Branden
_
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
In addition, if a person makes the error of identifying self with his work {rather than with the internal virtues that make the work possible}, if self-esteem is tied primarily to accomplishments, success, income, or being a good family provider, the danger is that economic circumstances beyond the individual's control may lead to the failure of the business or the loss of a job, flinging him into depression or acute demoralization.
book-quote
Nathaniel Branden
_
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
If my aim is to prove I am "enough," the project goes on to infinity-because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.
book-quote
Nathaniel Branden
_
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
When we learn how to be in an intimate relationship without abandoning our sense of self, when we learn how to be kind without being self-sacrificing, when we learn how to cooperate with others without betraying our standards and convictions, we are practicing self-assertiveness."
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