But if I lack respect for and enjoyment of who I am, I have very little to give-except my unfilled needs. In my emotional impoverishment, I tend to see other people essentially as sources of approval or disapproval. I do not appreciate them for who they are in their own right. I see only what they can or cannot do for me. I am not looking for people whom I can admire and with whom I can share the excitement and adventure of life. I am looking for people who will not condemn me-and perhaps will be impressed by my persona, the face I present to the world. My ability to love remains undeveloped. This is one of the reasons why attempts at relationships so often fail-not because the vision of passionate or romantic love is intrinsically irrational, but because the self-esteem needed to support it is absent.
( Nathaniel Branden )
[ The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem ]
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