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Theft by Finding: Diaries
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Theft by Finding: Diaries
Quotes of Book: Theft by Finding: Diaries
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David Sedaris
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Theft by Finding: Diaries
I'm surrounded by people who have more money than they know what to do with, and none of them have earned it.
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David Sedaris
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Theft by Finding: Diaries
It really is torture to sit around the house and write all day. I'm thinking it might motivate me to finish the book faster, the thought that after it's finished I can return to housecleaning. The
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David Sedaris
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Theft by Finding: Diaries
This town is the Greek Baltimore."
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David Sedaris
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Theft by Finding: Diaries
One of the things we laughed about was an old episode of The Newlywed Game. The host asked the wives, "What's the most exotic place you've ever made love?" He was likely expecting "The kitchen" or "On a tennis court at night," but one woman didn't quite understand the question and answered, "In the butt.
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David Sedaris
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Theft by Finding: Diaries
Something has changed, and now, when I look at my students, I see only people who are going to eat up my time.
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David Sedaris
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Theft by Finding: Diaries
When I got back to the apartment, the phone rang. It was Dad, who told me I should try to get work as a model. I told him he was being ridiculous and he said no, he'd just been at the barbershop and saw a GQ magazine with a guy on the cover who looked just like me. So I went to the newsstand and found a copy and the person on the cover was not a model but Gary Oldman.
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David Sedaris
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Theft by Finding: Diaries
This is a busy week with me and lunatics, whom I tend to see as either signs or messengers.
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David Sedaris
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Theft by Finding: Diaries
Teaching you is like having a cesarean section every day of the week.
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David Sedaris
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Theft by Finding: Diaries
Today the teacher called me a sadist. I tried to say that was like the pot calling the kettle black but came out with something closer to "That is like a pan saying to a dark pan, 'You are a pan.
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David Sedaris
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Theft by Finding: Diaries
I like the kind of man John is. He watches things closely and then does nothing with the information.
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David Sedaris
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Theft by Finding: Diaries
Making it worse, I had to sit through another endless preview for Titanic. Who do they think is going to see that movie?
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David Sedaris
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Theft by Finding: Diaries
Finally he was hit by a train while walking, which is strange because trains don't generally sneak up on people. For the most part, barring a derailment, you know exactly where to find them."
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