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Book: Worst. Person. Ever.
Quotes of Book: Worst. Person. Ever.

Douglas Coupland _ Worst. Person. Ever.
Why is it Americans are socially permitted to say 'fricking' when in fact everyone knows the word they're actually saying is 'fucking'? …here you have some bland ho-bag telly presenter saying 'I'm so fricking mad' about whatever, while you, the home viewer, know she's three millimeters away from saying 'I'm so fucking mad'. But instead of being outraged because she basically said 'fucking' on TV, everyone giggles, like she's being cute. …it's like ten times worse because the public is thinking 'fucking, fucking, fucking'. They're so full of shame or so socially conditioned that the mental effect of saying the word 'fucking' is technically amplified. By actually saying the word 'fucking' in real life, instead of 'fricking', you're doing American society a favor.
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Douglas Coupland _ Worst. Person. Ever.
Fun fact: The United Nations building in New York City is the only place in all of North America where smoking is still permitted indoors.
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Douglas Coupland _ Worst. Person. Ever.
Look, Neal, Hawaii is not some magical pixie wonderland; it's an American state populated by atomic weapons, a remnant native population and people too stupid to spell their way out of a paper bag. Most of them came here to escape pathetic lives in the forty nine other states, so in some sense, Hawaii is a scenic cul-de-sac filled with people who want to drink themselves to death without feeling judged.
book-quote humor ugly-truths
Douglas Coupland _ Worst. Person. Ever.
It's hard to get mad at Neal, because he suffers from a medical condition called total fucking stupidity.
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Douglas Coupland _ Worst. Person. Ever.
There's something fun about Sharpies that's really hard to articulate.
book-quote fun sharpies
Douglas Coupland _ Worst. Person. Ever.
Remember: Condoms promote licentiousness, so reconsider before using.
book-quote licentiousness slacking
Douglas Coupland _ Worst. Person. Ever.
But when you're caked in your own leavings, you don't really mind being hit with brutally hard jets of water.
book-quote shit trains
Douglas Coupland _ Worst. Person. Ever.
Probably tastes like a pocket calculator garnished with dried herpes juice flakes.
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Douglas Coupland _ Worst. Person. Ever.
Instead of feeling sexy and tingly, it felt useless, like recycling plastics or registering to vote."
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Douglas Coupland _ Worst. Person. Ever.
I seriously wish that he had spent his entire childhood being serially arse-raped by teachers, scoutmasters, members of the clergy, relatives, policemen, doctors, door-to-door salesmen and all registered sex offenders within a 500-mile radius of his unprotected bedroom."
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Douglas Coupland _ Worst. Person. Ever.
The thing about Jason Bourne is that he only really shines when he's being chased. Without the forces of evil pursuing him, Jason Bourne is basically council house trash living on KFC and the proceeds of his illegal Polish and Romanian girlfriends who'll toss you off for a tenner at the local lottery ticket kiosk.
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Douglas Coupland _ Worst. Person. Ever.
You see … I know nuclear warheads have a bum rap in our culture-radiation, nuclear winter, massive extinction, sad little doll heads lying in the gutter covered with bits of black muck. But to watch one exploding in real life is insanely fucking awesome. Yes. It is true. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself, snacking on saltines and drinking Arrowhead bottled water while our plane circled a heaving, pulsating, smoking-hot 15-kiloton explosion, with Neal pointing out little sparkling patches on the ocean where extra-dense bits of plastic trash were blipping into a green eco-friendly solution for a better tomorrow. Yes, yes, I know, I know. Atomic weapons. Charred little kittens. Nuns vaporizing. The economy in shambles. But still … what a fucking sight!
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