Category: shit
Quotes of Category: shit
Paco says, throwing down his lunch. "They think they can buy a U-shaped shell, stuff it, and call it a taco, but those cafeteria workers wouldn't know taco meat from a piece of shit. That's what this tastes like, Alex.""You're makin' me sick, man," I tell him.I stare uncomfortably at the food I brought from home. Thanks to Paco everything looks like now. Disgusted, I shove what's left of my lunch into my brown paper bag."Want some of it?" Paco says with a grin as he holds out the shitty taco to me."Bring that one inch closer to me and you'll be sorry," I threaten."I'm shakin' in my pants."Paco wiggles the offending taco, goading me. He should seriously know better."If any of that gets on me--""What'cha gonna do, kick my ass?" Paco sings sarcastically, still shaking the taco. Maybe I should punch him in the face, knocking him out so I won't have to deal with him right now.As I have that thought, I feel something drop on my pants. I look down even though I know what I'll see. Yes, a big blob of wet, gloppy stuff passing as taco meat lands right on the crotch of my faded jeans."Fuck," Paco says, his face quickly turning from amusement to shock. "Want me to clean it off for you?""If your fingers get anywhere close to my dick, I'm gonna personally shoot you in the huevos," I growl through clenched teeth.I flick the mystery meat off my crotch. A big, greasy stain lingers. I turn back to Paco. "You got ten minutes to get me a new pair of pants.""How the hell am I s'posed to do that?""Be creative.""Take mine." Paco stands and brings his fingers to the waistband of his jeans, unbuttoning right in the middle of the courtyard."Maybe I wasn't specific enough," I tell him, wondering how I'm going to act like the cool guy in chem class when it looks like I've peed in my pants. "I meant, get me a new pair of pants that will fit me, pendejo. You're so short you could audition to be one of Santa Claus's elves.""I'm toleratin' your insults because we're like brothers.""Nine minutes and thirty seconds."It doesn't take Paco more than that to start running toward the school parking lot. book-quoteshitnewcleanPaco is walking out of the bathroom and I rush past him."You might want to wait before you--" Paco's voice fades as I close the door, locking myself in. Wiping my eyes, I gaze into the mirror. I'm a complete mess. My mascara is dripping and . . . oh, it's no use. I slide down and sit on the cold tile floor. Now I realize what Paco was about to tell me. The place stinks; it really reeks . . . almost to the point where I want to throw up. I put my hand over my nose, trying to ignore the offending smell.***After locking the door behind him, he crouches beside me and takes me in his arms, pulling me close. Then he sniffs a few times. "Holy shit. Was Paco in here?"I nod.He smoothes my hair and mutters something in Spanish.***She, too, sniffs a bunch of times. "Was Paco in here?"Alex and I nod."What the fuck does that guy eat that it comes out his other end smelling so rotten? Dammit," she says, wadding up tissue and putting it over her nose. book-quoteshitnoseeatHiya, Alex. I missed you tonight."My gaze rests on Sam. "Yeah, I see how much you missed me.""Sam? Oh, I don't really like him," she coos, coming close. I can smell the radiating off her. "I'm waiting for you to come back to me.""Not gonna happen.""Is it because of your stupid chemistry partner?" She grabs ray chin, trying to force me to look at her, her long nails digging into my skin.I grab both her wrists and pull them aside, all the time wondering how my tough-as-nails ex-girlfriend turned into a tough-as-nails bitch. "Brittany has nothin' to do with you and me. I hear you've been talkin' shit to her.""Did Isa tell you that?" she asks, her eyes narrowed into slits."Just back off," I say, ignoring her question, "or you'll have a lot more to deal with than a bitter ex-boyfriend.""Are you bitter, Alex? Because you don't act bitter. You act like you don't give a shit."She's right. After I found her sleeping around, it took me a while to get over it, get over her. I wondered what other guys were giving her that I couldn't."I used to give a shit," I tell her. "I don't now. book-quotebittershitback-offSpontaneously, without any theological training, I, a child, grasped the incompatibility of God and shit and thus came to question the basic thesis of Christian anthropology, namely that man was created in God's image. Either/or: either man was created in God's image - and has intestines! - or God lacks intestines and man is not like him.The ancient Gnostics felt as I did at the age of five. In the second century, the Great Gnostic master Valentinus resolved the damnable dilemma by claiming that Jesus "ate and drank, but did not defecate."Shit is a more onerous theological problem than is evil. Since God gave man freedom, we can, if need be, accept the idea that He is not responsible for man's crimes. The responsibility for shit, however, rests entirely with Him, the creator of man. book-quoteshittheologyIf you're looking for fast driving there's a dragway in the southwestern part of the county. It opens next week.""Do you race there?" he asks."Yes." And I plan on spending a lot of time there over the next six weeks."Isaiah." Beth attempts to step in between us, but Logan angles himself so that she can't. "That's not why I brought him here."An insane glint strikes the guy's eyes and all of a sudden, I feel a connection to him. A twitch of his lips shows he might be my kind of crazy. "How fast do the cars there go?""Some guys hit speeds of 120 mph in an eighth mile.""No!" Beth stomps her foot. "No. I promised Ryan nothing crazy would happen. Logan, this is not why I brought you here.""Have you hit those speeds?" He swats his hand at Beth as if she's a fly, earning my respect. Most guys would be terrified of having their balls ripped off and handed to them for dismissing Beth like that."Not driving my car, I haven't," I answer honestly. But I hope to with Rachel's car, and with mine, after a few modifications. "Speed can be bought. Just depends on how much you want to spend."Logan offers his hand. "I'm Logan.""Isaiah," I say as we shake."Shit," mumbles Beth. book-quoteshitnorace
