Hilarious - Dual-Language Quotes That Speak to the Heart

Why are babies allowed to cry when they wake up, but adults crying when they wake is frowned upon? Babies are permitted to act like assholes whenever they feel like it and no one blinks... — Chelsea Handler Uganda Be...

Roz to Amelia {the house ghost}: How considerate of you, after trying to kill me, to see that I don't catch a cold. — Nora Roberts Black Rose

And so the merry party began. It was one of those jolly, happy, bread-crumbling parties where you cough twice before you speak, and then decide not to say it after all.

Hadn't retired reporter Stan warned him of how protective Cosimo was of his granddaughters? What if the Carusos had discovered his identity and wanted to rub him out as they'd rubbed out his...

And after his unparsable response, including a passage where he said he was 'blurring the boundaries between a thing and thought,' she said, 'Thank you, I get lost sometimes,' while laying two fingers...

People have been sleeping and/or marrying their way to the top since the first cavewoman said: 'Ugh, that one's the strongest and has the biggest club. I'll shake my mastodon-skin-covered ass at...

Would you be shedding tears for McNab's dead body if he'd been screwing around on you?"Peabody pursed her lips. "Well, since I'd've been the one who killed him, I'd probably be shedding tears for me...

June cackled with delight, muttering, "Whoops!" as a car almost killed them. — Rick Riordan The Son of...

From the Diary of the Duchess of RoxburgheI vow, I cannot seem to walk past a window without seeing my great-nephew carrying Miss Balfour somewhere. All great romantic poems have such scenes where the hero, in a fit of passion, sweeps the heroine off her feet. Sadly, it appears that Sin's technique is questionable.I'm surprised that, with all of his supposed experience with the gentler sex, he doesn't realize that women do not like to be carried in a way that musses their hair and leaves them with unattractively red faces. Sadly, yet another conversation I shall have to have with that boy. — Karen Hawkins How to Capture a...

Today Birthdays

1729 - Edmund Burke 1949 - Haruki Murakami 1954 - Howard Stern 1876 - Jack London 1993 - Zayn Malik 1951 - Kirstie Alley 1863 - Swami Vivekananda 1923 - Alice Miller 1987 - Naya Rivera 1825 - Brooke Foss Westcott 1944 - Joe Frazier 1951 - Rush Limbaugh 1964 - Jeff Bezos 1978 - Jeremy Camp 1628 - Charles Perrault 1856 - John Singer Sargent 1970 - Kaja Foglio 1953 - Rick Santelli 1986 - Gemma Arterton 1968 - Raf Simons 1958 - Christiane Amanpour 1966 - Olivier Martinez 1996 - Ella Henderson 1917 - Maharishi Mahesh Yogi 1949 - Ottmar Hitzfeld 1928 - Ruth Brown 1968 - Heather Mills 1946 - George Duke 1968 - Rachael Harris 1923 - Ira Hayes

What could you do? Major Major asked himself again. What could you do with a man who looked you...

We all had to pay, but not for the crimes we were accused of. There were other scores to settle.

If I turned towards books, it was because they were the only sanctuary I knew, one I needed in order...

Hope for some means its loss for others; when the hopeless regain some hope, those in power--the...

The Red Lion was a four-ale bar with a handful of lowbrowed sons of toil who looked as though they...

if you don't understand something, you can't approximate it. You're really just guessing.

Why are they going to disappear him? I don't know. It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good...

Read me back the last line. 'Read me back the last line,' read back the corporal who could take...

Keep in mind that when we talk of a great painting we are not really talking about anything great....

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