I've had a lot of food but if you don't jiggle me too much you can have your wicked way with me.

Yeah 'cause throwing knives at a girl is totally Going to get her to like you. #Tobiaslogic

You seem... .unsettled. Was unsettled another word for horny enough to climb the walls? Because if so, then yes, I was most definitely unsettled.

I know, I know. I rescued him and he's bonded to me like a baby duck.

Poisons are more my thing

The sun came out the next day, which it had no right to do.

Elsa's joke Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots!

If I had wanted children of my own, I would have gotten married. If I had wanted to get married, I would have fallen in love. If I had wanted to fall in love, I would have met the right girl. If I had...

It would take more than long-stemmed roses to change my view that you're a despicable cowardy custard and a disgrace to a proud family. Your ancestors fought in the Crusades and were often mentioned...

She gave me another of those long keen looks, and I could see that she was again asking herself if her favourite nephew wasn't steeped to the tonsils in the juice of the grape.

Meaning 'by way of the anus'. 'Per Annum', with two n's, means 'yearly'. The correct answer to the question, 'What is the birthrate per anum?' is zero {one hopes}.

Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darknesses.

...I'll tell you something else too; by the time we're through we shall have had all we can stand of this North woman. I wouldn't mind betting she thinks we have nothing better to do than run around...

The Lord turned water into wine. All I'm suggesting is a trip to the grocery store.

This is the sixty-nine, I told him, presenting the magazine in front of him. I put my fingers -- two of them -- on the action, so that he would not overlook it. Why is it dubbed sixty-nine? he asked,...

You always do good ones. We trust you, Mr. Duke," Says Dylan. Foolish lads, thinks Felix: never trust a professional ham."

They were even talking about buying a bodyguard, can you believe it? I mean, what on earth would I look like, turning up with a bodyguard? Actually, I'd look pretty cool and mysterious, wouldn't I?...

I need you to get inside Wayne's head. I need someone who thinks a bit left field and in your own unpleasant way, Helen Walsh, you're a genius.He had a point. I'm lazy and illogical. I've limited...

Oh, how I regret not having worn a bikini for the entire year I was twenty-six. If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute, put on a bikini, and don't take it off until you're thirty-four.

Do you know why Satan is so angry all the time? Because whenever he works a particularly clever bit of mischief God uses it to serve his own Rigteous purposes.So God uses wicked people as his...

The lieutenant's fooling around again with the telegraph girl at the station, said the corporal, after he had gone. He's been running after her for a fortnight and he's always frightfully furious when...

The Germans had a word for everything-a word that could be very focused, very specific, because it could be constructed for a precise set of circumstances. They even had a word, it was said, for the...