Humour - Dual-Language Quotes That Speak to the Heart

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Can I borrow fifty bucks?What?I'm short until payday.You're short every day.

She didn't want the medi-techs. She wanted a fucking candy bar. {...} She reached down {...} and chose a Galaxy bar {...} I'm going home. You didn't pay for that, Francois shouted after her. Fuck you,...

I'm going to see if Morris has a spare spine lying around you can borrow if you're scared to speak to that high-heeled, smug-ass bitch, Peabody.

The Romans always wanted bread and circuses-food and entertainement! As we destroy their city, I will offer them both. Behold, a sample!Someething dropped from the ceiling and landed at Percy's feet: a loaf of sandwich bread in a white plastic wrapper with red and yellow dots — rick riordan the mark of athena

Not that my regularly scheduled life was so great, but it beat getting judged unworthy by twelve bearded guys named Erik. — Rick Riordan The Sword of...

Even from far away, I could see people being chased by hellhounds, burned at the stake, forced to run naked through cactus patches or listen to opera music. — Rick Riordan The Lightning...

Grover and Nico came back from their walk, and Grover helped me fix up my wounded arm."It's green!" Nico said with delight. — Rick Riordan The Titan's...

My dad gave me a present once,' Nico said. 'It was a zombie.' Reyna stared at him. 'What?' 'His name is Jules-Albert. He's French.''A... French zombie? — Rick Riordan The Blood of...

The the glow become brighter: a holographic golden sickle with a few sheaves of wheat, rotating just above Meg McCaffrey.A boy in the crowd gasped. 'She's a communist!'A girl who'd been sitting at Cabin Four's table gave him a disgusted sneer. 'No, Damien, that's my mom's symbol. — Rick Riordan The Hidden...

Now-what's our game plan?Coach Hedge belched. He'd already had three espressos and a plate of doughnuts, along with two napkins and another flower from the vase on the table. He would've eaten the silverware, except Piper had slapped his hand.Climb the mountain, Hedge said. Kill everything except Piper's dad. Leave.Thank you General Eisenhower, Jason grumbles. — Rick Riordan The Lost Hero

You can come after me or you can get the one thing you've always wanted.What? A tattoo of your face on my ass? — Jennifer L. Armentrout Onyx

Is this what you do with your spare time? he asked me, ignoring his sister.What-are you deciding to talk to me now? Smiling tightly, I grabbed a handful of mulch and dumped it. Rinse and repeat. Yeah, it's kind of a hobby. What's yours? Kicking puppies? — Jennifer L. Armentrout Obsidian

If you still persist in writing, "Good food at it's best", you deserve to be struck by lightning, hacked up on the spot and buried in an unmarked grave. — Lynne Truss Eats, Shoots &...

Lately...the Peter Principle has given way to the "Dilbert Principle." The basic concept of the Dilbert Principle is that the most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management. — Scott Adams The Dilbert...

Idiocy in the modern age isn't an all-encompassing, twenty-four-hour situation for most people. It's a condition that everybody slips into many times a day. Life is just too complicated to be smart all the time. — Scott Adams The Dilbert...

He wondered often how he would ever recognize the first chill, flush, twinge, ache, belch, sneeze, stain, lethargy, vocal slip, loss of balance or lapse of memory that would signal the inevitable beginning of the inevitable end. — Joseph Heller Catch-22

Mma Ramotswe tucked the cheque safely away in her bodice. Modern business methods were all very well, she thought, but when it came to the safeguarding of money there were some places which had yet to be bettered. — Alexander McCall Smith Morality for...

So it was perfectly possible that there were men who liked shopping, men who understood exactly what it was all about, but Mma Ramotwe had yet to meet such a man. Maybe they existed elsewhere - in France, perhaps - but they did not seem to be much in evidence in Botswana. — Alexander McCall Smith The Saturday Big...

No plaque reminds the passer-by of these glories, although there should be one; for those who invent biscuits bring great pleasure to many. — Alexander McCall Smith The World...

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1729 - Edmund Burke 1949 - Haruki Murakami 1954 - Howard Stern 1876 - Jack London 1993 - Zayn Malik 1951 - Kirstie Alley 1863 - Swami Vivekananda 1923 - Alice Miller 1987 - Naya Rivera 1825 - Brooke Foss Westcott 1944 - Joe Frazier 1951 - Rush Limbaugh 1964 - Jeff Bezos 1978 - Jeremy Camp 1628 - Charles Perrault 1856 - John Singer Sargent 1970 - Kaja Foglio 1953 - Rick Santelli 1986 - Gemma Arterton 1968 - Raf Simons 1958 - Christiane Amanpour 1966 - Olivier Martinez 1996 - Ella Henderson 1917 - Maharishi Mahesh Yogi 1949 - Ottmar Hitzfeld 1928 - Ruth Brown 1968 - Heather Mills 1946 - George Duke 1968 - Rachael Harris 1923 - Ira Hayes

What could you do? Major Major asked himself again. What could you do with a man who looked you...

We all had to pay, but not for the crimes we were accused of. There were other scores to settle.

If I turned towards books, it was because they were the only sanctuary I knew, one I needed in order...

Hope for some means its loss for others; when the hopeless regain some hope, those in power--the...

The Red Lion was a four-ale bar with a handful of lowbrowed sons of toil who looked as though they...

if you don't understand something, you can't approximate it. You're really just guessing.

Why are they going to disappear him? I don't know. It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good...

Read me back the last line. 'Read me back the last line,' read back the corporal who could take...

Keep in mind that when we talk of a great painting we are not really talking about anything great....

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