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humour
humour - Bilingual quotes that celebrate the beauty of language, showcasing meaningful expressions in two unique perspectives.
Simone Elkeles
cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder.
Simone Elkeles
The Professor doesn't have a problem being called Dick? If my name was Richard, I'd go by Richard or Rich . . . not Dick. Hell, I'd even settle for being called Chard.
Simone Elkeles
What's with all those tattoos? Makes you look like a hooligan.""I suspect I am a hooligan.
Simone Elkeles
Listen, I didn't ask for a face and body girls find attractive. But thanks to the mixture of my parents' DNA, I've got them, and I'm not ashamed to use 'em.
Simone Elkeles
You look like a hot tamale.""That's not really a compliment.
Simone Elkeles
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a dickhead. Well, I did.
Simone Elkeles
A text pops up on the screen. It's from Luis. I can't help but grin when I read his perfectly thought-out message.
Simone Elkeles
Whoa, who was that?Madison Stone, Kiara mutters.Introduce me to her.Why?Because I know it'll annoy the shit out of you.
Simone Elkeles
Sylvia grabs my sleeve. He's a looker.I know. The problem is, he knows it, too.
Simone Elkeles
Luis is right there. I point to the corner of the yard, where my little brother is the centre of attention doing imitations of barnyard animals. I have yet to inform him that talent isn't as much of a chick magnet when you get into junior high.
Simone Elkeles
Ben walks in the room and asks, What were you guys doing? Nikki says Nothing at the same time I say, Your sister and I were just makin' out.
Simone Elkeles
Carlos, are we in complete understanding with each other?""Yeah," I say. "As long as it's not in your house and you don't know about it, you're okay with us messin' around.""I know you're joking with me. You are joking with me, aren't you?""Maybe.
Simone Elkeles
She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven't done in years- barnyard sounds.
Simone Elkeles
What are you boys doing? she asks, as if we're still little kids messing around.Arguin', Carlos says matter-of-factly.
Simone Elkeles
There's always time for arguin' when you're a Fuentes.
Simone Elkeles
I'm not going anywhere until you hear me out."Oh, please no. Anything except having to listen to her lecture. I push the button that calls the nurse. a voice bellows through the speaker."I'm bein' tortured.
Simone Elkeles
When they're together, the world could fall apart around them and they'd never notice or care as long as they have each other.
Simone Elkeles
Can I request another peer guide, One who isn't so happy to be at school at 7:30 a.m.?
Simone Elkeles
Dios mio, I think my brother lost his balls somewhere between here and Mexico. Or maybe Brittany has them zipped inside that fancy purse {of hers}.
Richard Brautigan
Somebody should have taken him to a stationary store and pointed out the difference between an envelope and a whore.
P.G. Wodehouse
Humour, if one looks into it, is principally a matter of retrospect.
P.G. Wodehouse
It was a morning when all nature shouted Fore! The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, seemed to bring a message of hope and cheer, whispering of chip-shots holed and brassies landing squarely on the meat. The fairway, as yet unscarred by the irons of a hundred dubs, smiled greenly up at the azure sky; and the sun, peeping above the trees, looked like a giant golf-ball perfectly lofted by the mashie of some unseen god and about to drop dead by the pin of the eighteenth.
P.G. Wodehouse
I have no doubt that you could have flung bricks by the hour in England's most densely populated districts without endangering the safety of a single girl capable of becoming Mrs. Augustus Fink-Nottle without an anaesthetic.
P.G. Wodehouse
Fascination exists only in the imagination of the fascinated.
P.G. Wodehouse
The voice of a donkey braying in the neighbouring meadow seemed like the mocking laughter of demons.
P.G. Wodehouse
The awful part of the writing game is that you can never be sure the stuff is any good.
P.G. Wodehouse
I don't know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I'm telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it.
P.G. Wodehouse
Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.
Mary Roach
US government button specifications run to twenty-two pages. This fact on its own yields a sense of what it is like to design garments for the Army.
Hilary Mantel
I think back to those days after the Bastille fell, the Mercure Nationale run from the back of the shop, that little Louise sticking her well-bred nose in the air and flouncing off to bawl out their printer-and you know, he was a good lad, François. I'd say, 'Go and do this, this, this, go and tie some bricks to your boots and jump in the Seine,' and he'd- Danton touched an imaginary forelock-'right away, Georges-Jacques, and do you need any shopping while I'm out?' Jesus, what a way to end up. When you see him, tell him I'd be obliged if he forgets he knows me.
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Popular quotes
Taffy. He thinks about taffy. He thinks it would take his teeth out now, but he would eat it anyhow, if it meant eating it with her.
by Mitch Albom
All our human endeavours are like that, she reflected, and it is only because we are too ignorant to realize it, or are too forgetful to remember it, that we have the confidence to build something that is meant to last.
by Alexander McCall Smith
The value of money is subjective, depending on age. At the age of one, one multiplies the actual sum by 145,000, making one pound seem like 145,000 pounds to a one-year-old. At seven – Bertie's age – the multiplier is 24, so that five pounds seems like 120 pounds. At the age of twenty four, five pounds is five pounds; at forty five it is divided by 5, so that it seems like one pound and one pound seems like twenty pence. {All figures courtesy of Scottish Government Advice Leaflet: Handling your Money.}
by Alexander McCall Smith
In fact, none of us knows how he ever managed to get his LLB in the first place. Maybe they're putting law degrees in cornflakes boxes these days.
by Alexander McCall Smith
Look, if you say that science will eventually prove there is no God, on that I must differ. No matter how small they take it back, to a tadpole, to an atom, there is always something they can't explain, something that created it all at the end of the search. And no matter how far they try to go the other way – to extend life, play around with the genes, clone this, clone that, live to one hundred and fifty – at some point, life is over. And then what happens? When the life comes to an end? I shrugged. You see? He leaned back. He smiled. When you come to the end, that's where God begins.
by Mitch Albom
Small towns are like metronomes; with the slightest flick, the beat changes.
by Mitch Albom
You say you should have died instead of me. But during my time on earth, people died instead of me, too. It happens every day. When lightning strikes a minute after you are gone, or an airplane crashes that you might have been on. When your colleague falls ill and you do not. We think such things are random. But there is a balance to it all. One withers, another grows. Birth and death are part of a whole.
by Mitch Albom
we get so many lives between birth and death. A life to be a child. A life to come of age. A life to wander, to settle, to fall in love, to parent, to test our promise, to realize our mortality-and, in some lucky cases, to do something after that realization.
by Mitch Albom
Where there's bluster, thinks Luisa, there's duplicity
by David Mitchell
I have the tendency to be nervous at the sight of trouble looming. As the danger draws near, I become less nervous. When the peril is at hand, I swell with fierceness. As I grapple with my assailant, I am without fear and fight to the finish with little thought of injury.
by Jean Sasson
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