I like being an exhibitionist with you. Besides, you can't say we don't have the climate for it. I don't know, I'd say there's the potential for sunburn in truly terrible places. This is true,” Jay...

Mission accomplished' I said. Pudge my friend, we are indestructible.

Please let's change subject, as despite the alliteration, I don't think Politics and Puddings go together.

Baldrick: Have you got a plan, my lord? Blackadder: Yes I have, and it's so cunning you can brush your teeth with it!

In his autobiography, Stravinsky relates that the first music he remembers was made by a peasant, working his hand in his armpit to produce a rhythmic farting.

Did he know she could barely think, let alone speak, for awareness of proximity of his fingers? Of course he knew. He was a rake. This is what he did.

When you're conscious of what you're permitting to germinate inside you, the weeds in your life will wither away of their own accord.

I'm talking to a journalist and I really have nothing to say anymore, this is already uncomfortable. I feel the pain coming already. The brutal pain, when one day I should read your edit of whatever I...

Oh, measure it all out! Acceptable levels of misery and suffering! The cane swung down, thumped hard on the ground. Acceptable? Who the fuck says any level is acceptable? What sort of mind thinks...

I'm not tired. I'm just checking my eyelids for holes. It could take a while

Joe Spork opens the door. The man departs. Joe turns to Polly to say something about how they're obviously not going to Portsmouth, and finds an oyster knife balanced on his cheek, just under his eye....

There are some laws that are coded into the very nature of the universe, and one is: There Is Never Enough Shelf Space.

Were you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?""Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir.

It's ridiculous to leave all the conversation to the pudding!

I'm sure I'll take you with pleasure!" the Queen said. "Twopence a week, and jam every other day."Alice couldn't help laughing, as she said, "I don't want you to hire me - and I don't care for...

The executioner's argument was that you couldn't cut of something's head unless there was a trunk to sever it from. He'd never done anything like that in his time of life, and wasn't going to start...

What He really hates is the shit that gets carried out in his name. Wars. Bigotry. Televangelism.- Rufus, Dogma

More of your conversation would infect my brain.

cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder.

The Professor doesn't have a problem being called Dick? If my name was Richard, I'd go by Richard or Rich . . . not Dick. Hell, I'd even settle for being called Chard.

What's with all those tattoos? Makes you look like a hooligan.""I suspect I am a hooligan.

Listen, I didn't ask for a face and body girls find attractive. But thanks to the mixture of my parents' DNA, I've got them, and I'm not ashamed to use 'em.

You look like a hot tamale.""That's not really a compliment.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a dickhead. Well, I did.

A text pops up on the screen. It's from Luis. I can't help but grin when I read his perfectly thought-out message.

Whoa, who was that?Madison Stone, Kiara mutters.Introduce me to her.Why?Because I know it'll annoy the shit out of you.

Sylvia grabs my sleeve. He's a looker.I know. The problem is, he knows it, too.

Luis is right there. I point to the corner of the yard, where my little brother is the centre of attention doing imitations of barnyard animals. I have yet to inform him that talent isn't as much of a...

Ben walks in the room and asks, What were you guys doing? Nikki says Nothing at the same time I say, Your sister and I were just makin' out.

Carlos, are we in complete understanding with each other?""Yeah," I say. "As long as it's not in your house and you don't know about it, you're okay with us messin' around.""I know you're joking with...