As a comedian and satirist you have to be neutral, because everyone's fair game. Once you show bias, you lose that.

Something pretty mysterious had to give rise to the origin of the universe.

Power is the by-product of understanding.

I was truly obsessed with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

I've always wanted bigger shoulders.

I don't agree with boarding school. It's not something that I would do with my children, but I think it's something that kind of exists in England in a traditional way, and you do form very close...

Half my fan mail comes from Japan.

Even in my most solipsistic moments, I don't regard my literary debut as a matter of global interest.

Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property... Horrid mischief would ensue were the law-abiding deprived of the use of them.

No author ever drew a character consistent to human nature, but he was forced to ascribe to it many inconsistencies.

My wife sent her photograph to the lonely hearts club. They sent it back, said they weren't that lonely.

I was hit by a car once on my bike, but I still rode home.

Animals, in their generation, are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass.

What's David's role? David looks good, that's what David does. David looks good, and I'm the funny one, that's what I hear constantly. But I keep telling him that looks fade.

In this work I have received the opposition of a number of men who only advocate the unobtainable because the immediately possible is beyond their moral courage, administrative ability, and their...

The happiest part of a man's life is what he passes lying awake in bed in the morning.

Nature study will show you how full of beautiful and wonderful things God has made the world for you to enjoy. Be contented with what you have got and make the best of it. Look on the bright side of...

Looking back, there is nothing wrong with that peace, love and equality that the hippies espoused. In many ways, we have regressed because they were into organic food, back to nature, make love not...

I really hate sitcoms on television with canned laughter and stuff. What really makes me laugh is the real-life stuff. I've got a dry sense of humor.

Eagles come in all shapes and sizes, but you will recognize them chiefly by their attitudes.

What I tell founders is not to sweat the business model too much at first. The most important task at first is to build something people want. If you don't do that, it won't matter how clever your...

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

Honest people don't hide their deeds.

Take care of the sense and the sounds will take care of themselves.

Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.

Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.

How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child!