Bring Cecily home," he said curtly. "I won't have her at risk, even in the slightest way."
"I'll take care of Cecily," came the terse reply. "She's better off without you in her life."
Tate's eyes widened. "I beg your pardon?" he asked, affronted.
"You know what I mean," Holden said. "Let her heal. She's too young to consign herself to spinsterhood over a man who doesn't even see her."
"Infatuation dies," Tate said.
Holden nodded. "Yes, it does. Goodbye."
"So does hero worship," he continued, laboring the point.
"And that's why after eight years, Cecily has had one raging affair after the other," he said facetiously.
The words had power. They wounded. "You fool," Holden said in a soft tone. "Do you really think she'd let any man touch her except you?" He went to his office door and gestured toward the desk. "Don't forget your gadget," he added quietly.
"Wait!"
Holden paused with his hand on the doorknob and turned. "What?"
Tate held the device in his hands, watching the lights flicker on it. "Mixing two cultures when one of them is all but extinct is a selfish thing," he said after a minute. "It has nothing to do with personal feelings. It's a matter of necessity."
Holden let go of the doorknob and moved to stand directly in front of Tate. "If I had a son," he said, almost choking on the word, "I'd tell him that there are things even more important than lofty principles. I'd tell him…that love is a rare and precious thing, and that substitutes are notoriously unfulfilling."
Tate searched the older man's eyes. "You're a fine one to talk."
Holden's face fell. "Yes, that's true." He turned away.
Why should he feel guilty? But he did. "I didn't mean to say that," Tate said, irritated by his remorse and the other man's defeated posture. "I can't help the way I feel about my culture."
"If it weren't for the cultural difference, how would you feel about Cecily?"
Tate hesitated. "It wouldn't change anything. She's been my responsibility. I've taken care of her. It would be gratitude on her part, even a little hero worship, nothing more. I couldn't take advantage of that. Besides, she's involved with Colby."
"And you couldn't live with being the second man."
Tate's face hardened. His eyes flashed.
Holden shook his head. "You're just brimming over with excuses, aren't you? It isn't the race thing, it isn't the culture thing, it isn't even the guardian-ward thing. You're afraid."
Tate's mouth made a thin line. He didn't reply.
"When you love someone, you give up control of yourself," he continued quietly. "You have to consider the other person's needs, wants, fears. What you do affects the other person. There's a certain loss of freedom as well." He moved a step closer. "The point I'm making is that Cecily already fills that place in your life. You're still protecting her, and it doesn't matter that there's another man. Because you can't stop looking out for her. Everything you said in this office proves that." He searched Tate's turbulent eyes. "You don't like Colby Lane, and it isn't because you think Cecily's involved with him. It's because he's been tied to one woman so tight that he can't struggle free of his love for her, even after years of divorce. That's how you feel, isn't it, Tate? You can't get free of Cecily, either. But Colby's always around and she indulges him. She might marry him in an act of desperation. And then what will you do? Will your noble excuses matter a damn then?
"I'll take care of Cecily," came the terse reply. "She's better off without you in her life."
Tate's eyes widened. "I beg your pardon?" he asked, affronted.
"You know what I mean," Holden said. "Let her heal. She's too young to consign herself to spinsterhood over a man who doesn't even see her."
"Infatuation dies," Tate said.
Holden nodded. "Yes, it does. Goodbye."
"So does hero worship," he continued, laboring the point.
"And that's why after eight years, Cecily has had one raging affair after the other," he said facetiously.
The words had power. They wounded. "You fool," Holden said in a soft tone. "Do you really think she'd let any man touch her except you?" He went to his office door and gestured toward the desk. "Don't forget your gadget," he added quietly.
"Wait!"
Holden paused with his hand on the doorknob and turned. "What?"
Tate held the device in his hands, watching the lights flicker on it. "Mixing two cultures when one of them is all but extinct is a selfish thing," he said after a minute. "It has nothing to do with personal feelings. It's a matter of necessity."
Holden let go of the doorknob and moved to stand directly in front of Tate. "If I had a son," he said, almost choking on the word, "I'd tell him that there are things even more important than lofty principles. I'd tell him…that love is a rare and precious thing, and that substitutes are notoriously unfulfilling."
Tate searched the older man's eyes. "You're a fine one to talk."
Holden's face fell. "Yes, that's true." He turned away.
Why should he feel guilty? But he did. "I didn't mean to say that," Tate said, irritated by his remorse and the other man's defeated posture. "I can't help the way I feel about my culture."
"If it weren't for the cultural difference, how would you feel about Cecily?"
Tate hesitated. "It wouldn't change anything. She's been my responsibility. I've taken care of her. It would be gratitude on her part, even a little hero worship, nothing more. I couldn't take advantage of that. Besides, she's involved with Colby."
"And you couldn't live with being the second man."
Tate's face hardened. His eyes flashed.
Holden shook his head. "You're just brimming over with excuses, aren't you? It isn't the race thing, it isn't the culture thing, it isn't even the guardian-ward thing. You're afraid."
Tate's mouth made a thin line. He didn't reply.
"When you love someone, you give up control of yourself," he continued quietly. "You have to consider the other person's needs, wants, fears. What you do affects the other person. There's a certain loss of freedom as well." He moved a step closer. "The point I'm making is that Cecily already fills that place in your life. You're still protecting her, and it doesn't matter that there's another man. Because you can't stop looking out for her. Everything you said in this office proves that." He searched Tate's turbulent eyes. "You don't like Colby Lane, and it isn't because you think Cecily's involved with him. It's because he's been tied to one woman so tight that he can't struggle free of his love for her, even after years of divorce. That's how you feel, isn't it, Tate? You can't get free of Cecily, either. But Colby's always around and she indulges him. She might marry him in an act of desperation. And then what will you do? Will your noble excuses matter a damn then?
( Diana Palmer )
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