Elizabeth snapped awake in a terrified instant as the door to her bed chamber was flung open near dawn, and Ian stalked into the darkened room. "Do you want to go first, or shall I?" he said tightly, coming to stand at the side of her bed. "What do you mean?" she asked in a trembling voice.
"I mean," he said, "that either you go first and tell me why in hell you suddenly find my company repugnant, or I'll go first and tell you how I feel when I don't know where you are or why you want to be there!"
"I've sent word to you both nights."
"You sent a damned note that arrived long after nightfall both times, informing me that you intended to sleep somewhere else. I want to know she reminded herself.
"Stop shouting at me," Elizabeth said shakily, getting out of bed and dragging the covers with her to hide herself from him.
His brows snapped together in an ominous frown. "Elizabeth?" he asked, reaching for her.
"Don't touch me!" she cried.
Bentner's voice came from the doorway. "Is aught amiss, my lady?" he asked, glaring bravely at Ian.
"Get out of here and close that damned door behind you!" Ian snapped furiously.
"Leave it open," Elizabeth said nervously, and the brave butler did exactly as she said.
In six long strides Ian was at the door, shoving it closed with a force that sent it crashing into its frame, and Elizabeth began to vibrate with terror. When he turned around and started toward her Elizabeth tried to back away, but she tripped on the coverlet and had to stay where she was.
Ian saw the fear in her eyes and stopped short only inches in front of her. His hand lifted, and she winced, but it came to rest on her cheek. "Darling, what is it?" he asked. It was his voice that made her want to weep at his feet, that beautiful baritone voice; and his face-that harsh, handsome face she'd adored. She wanted to beg him to tell her what Robert and Wordsworth had said were lies-all lies. "
" Robert had pleaded. Yet, in that moment of weakness she actually considered telling Ian everything she knew and letting him kill her if he wanted to; she would have preferred death to the torment of living with the memory of the lie that had been their lives-to the torment of living without him.
"Are you ill?" he asked, frowning and minutely studying her face.
Snatching at the excuse he'd offered, she nodded hastily. "Yes. I haven't been feeling well."
"Is that why you went to London? To see a physician?"
She nodded a little wildly, and to her bewildered horror he started to smile-that lazy, tender smile that always made her senses leap. "Are you with child, darling? Is that why you're acting so strangely?" Elizabeth was silent, trying to debate the wisdom of saying yes or no-she should say no, she realized. He'd hunt her to the ends of the earth if he believed she was carrying his babe.
"No! He-the doctor said it is just-just-nerves."
"You've been working and playing too hard," Ian said, looking like the picture of a worried, devoted husband. "You need more rest."
Elizabeth couldn't bear any more of this-not his feigned tenderness or his concern or the memory of Robert's battered back. "I'm going to sleep now," she said in a strangled voice. "
" she added, and his face whitened as if she had slapped him.
During his entire adult life Ian had relied almost as much on his intuition as on his intellect, and at that moment he didn't want to believe in the explanation they were both offering. His wife did not want him in her bed; she recoiled from his touch; she had been away for two consecutive nights; and-more alarming than any of that-guilt and fear were written all over her pale face.
"Do you know what a man thinks," he said in a calm voice that belied the pain streaking through him, "when his wife stays away at night and doesn't want him in her bed when she does return?"
"I mean," he said, "that either you go first and tell me why in hell you suddenly find my company repugnant, or I'll go first and tell you how I feel when I don't know where you are or why you want to be there!"
"I've sent word to you both nights."
"You sent a damned note that arrived long after nightfall both times, informing me that you intended to sleep somewhere else. I want to know she reminded herself.
"Stop shouting at me," Elizabeth said shakily, getting out of bed and dragging the covers with her to hide herself from him.
His brows snapped together in an ominous frown. "Elizabeth?" he asked, reaching for her.
"Don't touch me!" she cried.
Bentner's voice came from the doorway. "Is aught amiss, my lady?" he asked, glaring bravely at Ian.
"Get out of here and close that damned door behind you!" Ian snapped furiously.
"Leave it open," Elizabeth said nervously, and the brave butler did exactly as she said.
In six long strides Ian was at the door, shoving it closed with a force that sent it crashing into its frame, and Elizabeth began to vibrate with terror. When he turned around and started toward her Elizabeth tried to back away, but she tripped on the coverlet and had to stay where she was.
Ian saw the fear in her eyes and stopped short only inches in front of her. His hand lifted, and she winced, but it came to rest on her cheek. "Darling, what is it?" he asked. It was his voice that made her want to weep at his feet, that beautiful baritone voice; and his face-that harsh, handsome face she'd adored. She wanted to beg him to tell her what Robert and Wordsworth had said were lies-all lies. "
" Robert had pleaded. Yet, in that moment of weakness she actually considered telling Ian everything she knew and letting him kill her if he wanted to; she would have preferred death to the torment of living with the memory of the lie that had been their lives-to the torment of living without him.
"Are you ill?" he asked, frowning and minutely studying her face.
Snatching at the excuse he'd offered, she nodded hastily. "Yes. I haven't been feeling well."
"Is that why you went to London? To see a physician?"
She nodded a little wildly, and to her bewildered horror he started to smile-that lazy, tender smile that always made her senses leap. "Are you with child, darling? Is that why you're acting so strangely?" Elizabeth was silent, trying to debate the wisdom of saying yes or no-she should say no, she realized. He'd hunt her to the ends of the earth if he believed she was carrying his babe.
"No! He-the doctor said it is just-just-nerves."
"You've been working and playing too hard," Ian said, looking like the picture of a worried, devoted husband. "You need more rest."
Elizabeth couldn't bear any more of this-not his feigned tenderness or his concern or the memory of Robert's battered back. "I'm going to sleep now," she said in a strangled voice. "
" she added, and his face whitened as if she had slapped him.
During his entire adult life Ian had relied almost as much on his intuition as on his intellect, and at that moment he didn't want to believe in the explanation they were both offering. His wife did not want him in her bed; she recoiled from his touch; she had been away for two consecutive nights; and-more alarming than any of that-guilt and fear were written all over her pale face.
"Do you know what a man thinks," he said in a calm voice that belied the pain streaking through him, "when his wife stays away at night and doesn't want him in her bed when she does return?"
( Judith McNaught )
[ Almost Heaven ]
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