For me, the present agony of departure, the silent terror of leaving a place known to me if hated, the well-nigh impossible task of conquering the fear that possessed me. Not the fear of that hasty look round, the sudden plunge headlong and the giddy shock of hard, cold water, the river itself entering my lungs, rising in my throat, tossing me upon my back with my arms outflung-I could hear the sob strangled in my chest and the blood leave me-but fear of the certain knowledge that there was no returning, no possible means of escape, and no other thing beyond.
( Daphne du Maurier )
[ I'll Never Be Young Again ]
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