I took on my depression like it was the fight of my life, wich of course, it was. I became a student of my own depressed experience, trying to unthread its causes. What was the root of all this dispair? Was it psychological? {Mom and Dad's fault?} Was it just temporal, a "bad time" in my life? {When the divorce ends, will the depression end with it?} Was it genetic? {Melancholy, called by many names, has run through my family for generations, along with its sad bride, Alcholisme.} Was it cultural? {Is this just the fallout of a postfeminist American career girl trying to find balance in an increasingly stressful and alienating urban world?} Was it astrological? {Am I so sad because I'm a thin-skinned cancer whose major signs are all ruled by unstable Gemini?} Was it artistic? {Don't creative people always suffer from depression because we're so supersensitive and special?} Was it evolutionary? {Do I carry in me the residual panic that come after millennia of my species' attempting to survive a brutal world?} Was it Karmic? {Are all these spasms of grief just the consequences of bad behavior in previous lifetimes, the last obstacles before liberation?} Was it hormonal? Dietary? Philosophical? Seasonal? Environmental? Did I have a chemical imbalance? Or did I just need to get laid?
( Elizabeth Gilbert )
[ Eat, Pray, Love ]
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