It was late; I'd been sleeping. I woke up to the sound of him crying. The ward was dark, with only the light from the nurses' station bleeding in. 'Kid,' he said to me, and his voice… his voice was like a ghost. Like that part of him had already died and had come back for the rest. 'Kid, this is worse than Topeka.' He told me that once, in the war, he'd come upon a German soldier in the grass with his insides falling out; he was just lying there in agony. The soldier had looked up at Sergeant Leonard, and even though they didn't speak the same language, they understood each other with just a look. The German lying on the ground; the American standing over him. He put a bullet in the soldier's head. He didn't do it with anger, as an enemy, but as a fellow man, one soldier helping another. 'One soldier helping another.' That's how he put it." Again, Jericho fell quiet for a moment. "He told me what he needed me to do. Told me I didn't have to. Told me that if I did, he'd make sure God would forgive me, if that's what I was worried about. One soldier helping another."
Jericho fell quiet. Evie held so still she thought she might break.
"I found his belt in the dresser and helped him into the wheelchair. The hall was quiet on the way to the shower. I remember how clean the floor was, like a mirror. I had to make a new hole in the leather to tighten it around his neck. Even without his arms and legs, he was heavy. But I was strong. Just before, he looked at me, and I'll never forget his face as long as I live-like he'd just realized some great secret, but it was too late to do anything about it. 'Some craps game, this life, kid. Don't let 'em take you without a fight,' he said."
Silence. A dog barking in the distance. A puff of wind against the glass, wanting to be let in.
"After, I took the wheelchair back and parked it in the same spot. Then I slipped under the covers and pretended to sleep until it was morning and they found him. Then I did sleep. For twelve hours straight.
Jericho fell quiet. Evie held so still she thought she might break.
"I found his belt in the dresser and helped him into the wheelchair. The hall was quiet on the way to the shower. I remember how clean the floor was, like a mirror. I had to make a new hole in the leather to tighten it around his neck. Even without his arms and legs, he was heavy. But I was strong. Just before, he looked at me, and I'll never forget his face as long as I live-like he'd just realized some great secret, but it was too late to do anything about it. 'Some craps game, this life, kid. Don't let 'em take you without a fight,' he said."
Silence. A dog barking in the distance. A puff of wind against the glass, wanting to be let in.
"After, I took the wheelchair back and parked it in the same spot. Then I slipped under the covers and pretended to sleep until it was morning and they found him. Then I did sleep. For twelve hours straight.
( Libba Bray )
[ The Diviners ]
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