Don't you see? A person can never take care of another for life. I mean: suppose we got married. Then you must find a job during the day. Who will take care of me when you are not with me? Or if you go on a business trip, who will take care of me then? Can I stick to you every minute of our lives? What kind of balance will be in that? What kind of relationship will be that? Soon or later you will be alarmed. You will ask what you were doing with your life, and why do you spend your whole time while you are sponsoring this woman. I will not be able to.

📖 Haruki Murakami

🌍 Japanese  |  👨‍💼 Writer

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In Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood," a profound reflection on relationships emerges when a character contemplates the nature of dependence and support in a romantic partnership. The speaker questions the feasibility of relying on a partner for constant care, highlighting the complexities that arise when two lives intertwine. They ponder what happens when one person must work, travel, or pursue their own interests while the other requires attention and support. This dynamic can lead to feelings of imbalance and suffocation.

The speaker expresses a deep concern about becoming a burden, recognizing that an unhealthy dependency could generate dissatisfaction and alarm in the relationship. They contemplate the implications of dedicating one’s life to supporting another, raising fundamental questions about personal autonomy and the essence of love. Rather than opting for unwavering dependence, the speaker advocates for a balance that allows both partners to maintain their individuality, ultimately seeking a more sustainable kind of love.

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February 27, 2025

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