He did not dare confess his partners at the moment that followed the sex, that he was feeling an unbridled desire to stay alone. The idea was to wake up late at night and find himself near a strange object.
The character grapples with a conflict between his intimate connection and an overwhelming desire for solitude. Despite being physically close to his partners after an intimate moment, he hesitates to reveal his true feelings about wanting to be alone. This internal struggle highlights the complexity of human emotions and relationships.
His contemplation of waking up next to a strange object symbolizes a longing for new experiences and perhaps a sense of freedom. This desire for solitude and novelty contrasts with the intimate ties he shares with his partners, illustrating the tension between connection and independence in the narrative.