The narrator reflects on a sense of alienation from society, describing themselves as part of a group that is fundamentally different from what is considered normal. They perceive themselves as "the infection," suggesting that their uniqueness is a burden or a flaw. Sitting on the steps while gazing at the city and the sea, they acknowledge that their existence is characterized by self-doubt and self-alteration, contrasting sharply with the "real" individuals who conform to societal standards.
This distinction raises questions about identity and authenticity. The narrator sees themselves and others like them as intellectually advanced but emotionally immature, akin to "smart kids" playing with a "brilliant construction kit." In contrast, they view those who conform to societal norms as truly alive, having accepted their roles within the framework of a structured life. This commentary highlights the tension between personal freedom and societal expectations, critiquing the cost of individuality in a world that values conformity.