And at the thought of the punishments Youdi might inflict upon me I was seized by such a mighty fit of laughter that I shook, with mightly silent laughter and my features composed in their wonted sadness and calm. But my whole body shook, and even my legs, so that I had to lean against a tree, or against a bush, when the fit came on me standing, my umbrella being no longer sufficient to keep me from falling. Strange laughter truly, and no doubt misnamed.
The narrator experiences an uncontrollable fit of laughter when thinking about the potential punishments from Youdi, despite his external appearance of sadness and calm. This juxtaposition highlights an inner tumult that contrasts sharply with his composed demeanor. He is so overwhelmed by this laughter that it disrupts his physical stability, forcing him to lean against nature for support, revealing the depth of his emotional conflict.
This moment of laughter is described as strange and perhaps mischaracterized, indicating a complex emotional state that blends humor with the absurdity of his situation. It reflects a profound existential struggle, typical of Beckett’s style, as the narrator grapples with despair and the absurd, finding humor in the bleakness of his circumstances.
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