And I felt like my heart had been so thoroughly and irreparably broken that there could be no real joy again, that at best there might eventually be a little contentment. Everyone wanted me to get help and rejoin life, pick up the pieces and move on, and I tried to, I wanted to, but I just had to lie in the mud with my arms wrapped around myself, eyes closed, grieving, until I didn't have to anymore.
In Anne Lamott's "Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year," she expresses a deep sense of despair, feeling that her heart has been irreparably broken. The weight of her grief makes it seem impossible to find joy again; she believes that contentment might only be a distant possibility. Despite her friends and family urging her to seek help and move forward, Lamott finds solace in allowing herself to grieve fully, lying in the mud of her emotions until she's ready to rise again.
The quote reflects a profound struggle with loss and the expectation to quickly recover. Lamott's experience resonates with anyone who has faced deep sorrow, as it underscores the importance of acknowledging pain rather than rushing through it. Her candid admission of needing to embrace her grief before seeking recovery highlights a universal truth about healing: that sometimes, we must sit in our sadness to eventually find our way back to the light.
