And then I wondered if as soon as he came to like me he would sink into ordinariness, and if as soon as he came to love me I would find fault after fault, the way I did with Buddy Willard and the boys before him. The same thing happened over and over: I would catch sight of some flawless man off in the distance, but as soon as he moved closer I immediately saw he wouldn't do at all.
In Sylvia Plath's "The Bell Jar," the narrator expresses a concern about the nature of love and attraction. She reflects on how her admiration for seemingly perfect men diminishes once they become familiar. There is a fear that affection might lead to seeing flaws, turning an ideal figure into someone disappointing. This cycle of desire followed by disillusionment seems to plague her relationships.
The narrator's introspection reveals a deeper anxiety about intimacy and the inevitable complications that come with it. Her experience with past lovers, like Buddy Willard, showcases a pattern where initial allure fades as she begins to recognize imperfections. This realization highlights the struggle between longing for connection and the fear of losing the idealized image that drew her in initially.
