In this passage, the narrator grapples with conflicting feelings about a person they desire but believe they shouldn't want or can't have. The internal struggle revolves around longing and uncertainty, questioning whether they truly need or want this individual or if it's just a fleeting impulse. They decide to leave the outcome to fate, acknowledging the randomness of their emotions and circumstances.
"And then there's the other thing... the thing I shouldn't want, the thing I can't have." The scene shifts as St. Clair comments on the winds, hinting at a shared understanding or moment of camaraderie. The narrator's emotional turmoil remains unresolved, highlighting themes of desire, fate, and the complexities of teenage love and longing.