The excerpt reflects a sense of inner confusion and longing, questioning what one truly desires. The narrator is uncertain about their desires, whether they want something or someone whose suitability is unclear or even unattainable, leading to feelings of frustration or resignation.
The quote "So what do I want? Something I don't know if I want?" emphasizes this inner conflict, with a wish for luck to make decisions or outcomes better. It captures the universal human experience of uncertain desires and hoping for external forces to guide us. The reference to Stephanie Perkins' book suggests it explores similar themes of love and self-discovery.