In the autumn, the author experiences a profound awakening marked by an unsettling darkness and overwhelming noise. This cacophony appears to represent the myriad of orphaned voices within, each echoing the unlived aspects of her life. The intensity of these feelings is so powerful that they seem to challenge the very limits of her existence, signaling that a transformative change is imminent.

These voices reflect a vital struggle of a new self trying to emerge, indicating a deep inner journey towards self-discovery and rebirth. The author recognizes that this tumult is not merely chaotic but a necessary prelude to personal growth and spiritual awakening. It is a poignant realization of the complexities of the self and the need for introspection during moments of change.