Back in the autumn I had awakened to a growing darkness and cacophony, as if something in the depths were crying out. A whole chorus of voices. Orphaned voices. They seemed to speak for all the unlived parts of me, and they came with a force and dazzle that I couldn't contain. They seemed to explode the boundaries of my existence. I know now that they were the clamor of a new self struggling to be born.
In the autumn, the author experiences a profound awakening marked by an unsettling darkness and overwhelming noise. This cacophony appears to represent the myriad of orphaned voices within, each echoing the unlived aspects of her life. The intensity of these feelings is so powerful that they seem to challenge the very limits of her existence, signaling that a transformative change is imminent.
These voices reflect a vital struggle of a new self trying to emerge, indicating a deep inner journey towards self-discovery and rebirth. The author recognizes that this tumult is not merely chaotic but a necessary prelude to personal growth and spiritual awakening. It is a poignant realization of the complexities of the self and the need for introspection during moments of change.