Barbee had wondered about insanity, sometimes with a brooding dread - for his own father, whom he scarcely remembered, had died in the forbidding stone pile of the state asylum. He had vaguely supposed that a mental breakdown must be somehow strange and thrilling, with an exciting conflict of horrible depression and wild elation. But perhaps it was more often like this, just a baffled apathetic retreat from problems grown too difficult to solve.

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Barbee reflects on the concept of insanity, influenced by the memory of his father who passed away in a mental asylum. This connection evokes a sense of dread within him, as he considers the implications of mental illness. He initially perceives insanity as a dramatic struggle filled with emotional highs and lows, suggesting a romanticized view of psychological breakdown.

However, Barbee's thoughts shift to a more realistic perspective, contemplating that mental breakdowns may often manifest as a retreat from life's challenges rather than an exhilarating conflict. This realization underscores a deeper understanding of mental illness as a complex and often troubling state, rather than the thrilling narrative he once imagined.

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March 19, 2025

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