In the book "Prep" by Curtis Sittenfeld, the protagonist reflects on a life led in a constrained manner, where her true desires and thoughts remain unexpressed. This internal struggle of not acting on her wishes creates a profound sense of exhaustion and dissatisfaction. She describes feeling perpetually stifled, which prevents her from fully engaging with her reality.

The quote highlights the conflict between outward appearances and inner feelings. The character is caught in a cycle of imagining a different life, yet fails to take steps towards it, resulting in a poignant sense of unfulfillment. This captures the complexities of growing up and the challenges of authenticity in a socially demanding environment.