...But it gradually seemed to me that I'd made myself believe something that wasn't true. I'd made myself believe that I was fine and happy and fulfilled on my own without the love of anyone else. Being in love was like China: you knew it was there, and no doubt it was very interesting, and some people went there, but I never would. I'd spend all my life without ever going to China, but it wouldn't matter, because there was all the rest of the world to visit... And I thought: am I really going to spend the rest of my life without feeling that again? I thought: I to go to China. It's full of treasures and strangeness and mysteries and joy.
The speaker reflects on a realization regarding their own emotional state, noting that they had convinced themselves that they were content and self-sufficient without love. They compare love to a distant place like China, acknowledging its allure and richness but feeling resigned to never experience it. Despite the thought of lasting without love, they now ponder the idea of missing out on something significant and enriching that could bring fulfillment to their life.
This contemplation evokes a sense of yearning for the depth and joy that love might offer, sparking a desire to embrace the experience despite previous beliefs about independence. The metaphor of China illustrates the beauty and complexity of love, portraying it as a treasure trove of experiences worth exploring. The realization leads to a heartfelt wish to seek out the mysteries and joys that love can provide, suggesting an awakening to the potential of emotional connection.
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