The quote reflects the protagonist's realization of her limited control over her circumstances. She acknowledges that her experiences and identity have been shaped by external forces rather than by her own desires or actions. This moment of introspection underscores the struggle between personal agency and the weight of history that one cannot change.
As she navigates the world around her, the character feels a sense of diminishment, indicating her internal conflict and vulnerability. This theme of reconciling self with the past is prevalent in Ian McEwan's "Atonement," highlighting how one's identity is often a product of both personal choices and the inevitable influences of life.