But there was a part of her that wondered what would happen if she let them all in on the secretthat some mornings, it was hard to get out of bed and put on someone else's smile; that she was standing on air, a fake who laughed at all the right jokes and whispered all the right gossip and attracted the right guy, a fake who had nearly forgotten what it felt like to be real…and who, when you got right down to it, didn't want to remember, because it hurt even more than this.
The character grapples with a profound internal struggle, feeling the weight of the facade she presents to the world. Each day, she dons a mask of happiness and confidence, even as she battles the invisible burden of her true feelings. This disconnect between her outward persona and inward reality creates a sense of isolation and pain, as she finds it difficult to relate to her authentic self in such a superficial existence.
Despite the cheer she projects, there remains a reluctance to share her true struggles with others. The fear of vulnerability makes her reluctant to let anyone see beyond her crafted exterior. This tension between maintaining her appearance and confronting her feelings highlights the complexity of human emotions and the fear of facing the genuine self, which often can be much more painful than the act of pretending.
