Chaplain, he continued, looking up, we accuse you also of the commission of crimes and infractions we don't even know about yet. Guilty or innocent? I don't know, sir. How can I say if you don't tell me what they are? How can we tell you if we don't know? Guilty, decided the colonel. Sure he's guilty, agreed the major. If they're his crimes and infractions, he must have committed them.
Joseph Heller Catch-22
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In this passage from "Catch-22" by Joseph Heller, a chaplain is confronted by military officials who accuse him of various unspecified crimes. The chaplain expresses his confusion, stating that he cannot determine his guilt without knowing the charges against him. This highlights the absurdity of the situation, as the officials seem to operate under a presumption of guilt rather than the principle of innocence until proven guilty.

The colonel and major quickly conclude that the chaplain must be guilty simply because the accusations are linked to him, demonstrating a flawed and chaotic military justice system. Their reasoning reflects the overarching themes of the book, showcasing how authority figures often abandon logic and fairness in favor of arbitrary judgments. This scenario illustrates the satire of bureaucracy and the absurdities of war, which are central to Heller's narrative.

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Catch-22
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Joseph Heller
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Other quotes in Catch-22

Everyone was always very friendly toward him, and no one was ever very nice; everyone spoke to him, and no one ever said anything.
Joseph Heller Catch-22
Everyone was always very friendly toward him, and no one was ever very nice; everyone spoke to him, and no one ever said anything.
The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likeable. In three days no one could stand him.
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The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likeable. In three days no one could stand him.
It was love at first sight. The first time Yossarian say the chaplain he fell madly in love with him.
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It was love at first sight. The first time Yossarian say the chaplain he fell madly in love with him.
If you run into trouble, just tell everybody that the security of the country requires a strong domestic Egyptian-cotton speculating industry.
Joseph Heller Catch-22
If you run into trouble, just tell everybody that the security of the country requires a strong domestic Egyptian-cotton speculating industry.
His goading remained gentle. Rome was destroyed, Greece was destroyed, Persia was destroyed, Spain was destroyed. All great countries are destroyed. Why not yours? How much longer do you really think your own country will last? Forever? Keep in mind that the earth itself is destined to be destroyed by the sun in twenty-five million years or so.
Joseph Heller Catch-22
His goading remained gentle. Rome was destroyed, Greece was destroyed, Persia was destroyed, Spain was destroyed. All great countries are destroyed. Why not yours? How much longer do you really think your own country will last? Forever? Keep in mind that the earth itself is destined to be destroyed by the sun in twenty-five million years or so.
the full fury of his storming countenance with its rugged overhang of gullied forehead and huge crag of a humpbacked nose that came charging out of his face wrathfully like a Big Ten fullback.
Joseph Heller Catch-22
the full fury of his storming countenance with its rugged overhang of gullied forehead and huge crag of a humpbacked nose that came charging out of his face wrathfully like a Big Ten fullback.
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Now that you're an adult, you might still feel a pang of guilt when you decline a dinner invitation in favor of a good book. Or maybe you like to eat alone in restaurants and could do without the pitying looks from fellow diners. Or you're told that you're "in your head too much," a phrase that's often deployed against the quiet and cerebral. Of course, there's another word for such people: thinkers.
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Here's a nifty solution: Each couple that marries should take on an entirely new surname, chosen however they want as long as both agree to it, so that a day after the wedding, both husband and wife can hold hands and joyfully journey off to the municipal offices to change their passports, driver's licenses, signatures, initials, bank accounts, etc.
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